A CHOOSE YOUR OWN PATH ADVENTURE…FOR ADULTS!

Well, would you look at that—after just 15 years, I’ve finally finished my choose your own adventure (although you’re not allowed to call it that – registered trademark or something – so I’ve called it a DECIDE YOUR OWN DEATH. This means it’s not just any book. This masterpiece comes complete with several branching storylines, multiple endings, morally dubious decisions, and lots and lots of death scenes!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

The Marvellous Adventures of Flashrat

In this deeply questionable tale, you play as Scott Macarthur, council toilet cleaner (freelance). A man of simple pleasures and even simpler hygiene habits, Scott resides in an abandoned shopping trolley in his local park after being booted out by his wife—who, as it turns out, has been up to all sorts of shenanigans with Scott’s best friend.

But hope is not lost.

There’s a chance—a tiny, whisky-stained chance—that Scott might just be a superhero in the making. He’s got a costume (sort of), a purpose (ish), and a mentor: the mysterious, possibly imaginary vigilante known only as Flashrat.

Is Flashrat a genuine English-speaking crimefighter? Or is Scott just incredibly dehydrated and off his rocker from drinking something blue he found behind the Co-op?

• Will you guide Scott toward redemption, heroism, and maybe even a home with an actual roof?
• Will Scott get his revenge on his wife, or will you lead him to a gooey, romantic, mills-and-boony reunion?
• Or will your decisions lead him to an inevitable, blood-soaked end involving evil mad scientists, the Yakuza, an evil genius living inside a volcano, a wolf-man (or sorts), a mysterious cobbler, the Brotherhood of the Bogbrush, secret microfilms, and, of course, the KGB?

This is a dark, adult comedy packed with filthy jokes, tragic choices, and moments so surreal even David Lynch would ask you to tone it down. It is absolutely NOT for children or the easily offended.

If you’ve ever wanted to star in your own grimy, low-budget superhero origin story—now’s your chance.

The Marvellous Adventures of Flashrat is available now on Amazon!

If you’re interested (and I can’t imagine why you would be) in more of my creative writing, please look at my author website at jonbardi.com

Reviews!

5.0 out of 5 stars

 “Brilliant lawnmower”

A brilliant lawnmower, very easy put together just by looking at pictures on box, delighted with my first cut, cuts close to the edges, and left my lawn looking lovely, it’s my first electric lawnmower and iv no complaints, does what it says on the box and I’m very happy with it.

5.0 out of 5 stars

 “Worth every penny.”

Brilliant!! Cleaned an outside wall and two cars so far. Easy to use, different sprays and strong jet. 2 batteries sold it to me, could not have imagined it would perform so well. An excellent piece of kit.

5.0 out of 5 stars

 “Great”

It really absorbs water. 1 box lasted me almost a month, but I have very high humidity in the room and I used several boxes in different places (in the closet, near the bed.) There was a little less mold. And the air became a little less humid.

5.0 out of 5 stars

“ Absolutely bargain of the season”

You won’t find a better value tent for the money, absolutely blown away by it.

Has opening both sides with awning on one side. Storage in all 4 corners. Loads of bag storage on both sides.

I’ve used it a few times now and can be put up easily within 10mins even by a novice.

5.0 out of 5 stars

 “Ideal for the job!!”

I purchased these cones on behalf of my church to enable us to reserve parking spaces at the front of our building when needed for wedding or funeral vehicles etc. They are ideal for the job, sturdy, colourful and clearly visible to traffic. An excellent purchase!!

5.0 out of 5 stars

 “Good quality for price”

This is only a toilet brush I know, but it looks good. Surprisingly it doesn’t drip either, after a tap on the side of the bowl, easy to clean much better than our old bristle ones. We have replaced all our old ones with these.

1.0 out of 5 stars

“Würde es nicht empfehlen – NICHT SICHER!”

Die Leiter ist nicht leicht und viel schwerer als erwartet. Außerdem ist es nicht stabil und gibt nach, wenn es ausgezogen wird. Ich würde der Leiter nicht zutrauen, über 10 Fuß hinauszuklettern, da sie nicht sicher ist. Ich würde es nicht empfehlen – diese Leiter ist NICHT SICHER